An open letters to the makers of toilet paper.
Dear Toilet Paper Manufacturer,
I believe we have a real problem with your toilet paper. As a woman struggling with infertility, I stare, analyze and examine your toilet paper on a daily basis. Depending on the day in my cycle, I am either looking for a clear substance (think raw egg whites), a brown or pinkish smudge or a big red splatter to be apparent on the toilet paper (or in my underwear). I am confident that I examine your TP better than any of your staff or health inspectors.
You see, the toilet paper is essential to my day and I have noticed major flaws in your production.
First of all, there are sometimes tiny red or brown dots already present on the white paper BEFORE I wipe. This confuses me to no end – did those red dots come from me or was it present on the paper before I wiped? If I happen to use recyclable paper, there seems to be more dots and smudges already on the paper. I am then forced to wipe again in another location, just to be certain. If you manufacturer white toilet paper, it should be 100 percent white WITHOUT any suspicious smudges! Plus, no one wants to see little stains on a piece of toilet paper anyways. Next time you go into production, please think of the millions of infertile women out there who examine the TP on a daily basis.
An infertile toilet paper examiner