Ever seen one of these signs? Sometimes they are innocently hanging in a bathroom stall or on the wall at your local restaurant. But for you, all you see is the word PREGNANCY flashing before your eyes. And the sign makes you cry. Continue reading »
Jul 11
“My friend’s dry cleaner’s daughter also took Clomid. Do you want her phone number?”
The second someone finds out you’re having fertility issues, they automatically want to connect you to someone with similar issues. Well meaning as they are, sometimes we just don’t want to call a complete stranger just because she has a similar blocked fallopian tube. Continue reading »
Feb 01
Your friend is pregnant. You know because every day she posts pictures of her growing belly on Facebook, and then you spend hours crying during her baby shower.
But do you really have to play the extremely un-fun game of “Guess your Due Date” as well? This ‘game’ starts when your friend’s due date is nearing, and everyone is invited to play. People gleefully play the game, giggling “January 1… No! I’m guessing January 3 instead.” You might even play just to show you are a stable infertile and completely not jealous of her pregnancy. But with every good game, there should be a prize. So what do you actually win? I think it’s fair to suggest, you should win her baby. Just a joke, of course. You say to her husband with a strange high pitch laugh. You are also a fan of “Guess the name” and “Is it a boy or a girl?” But how about “Guess how much baby weight she’s gained?” or “Guess how long it took her to get knocked up?”
Now, they should participate your super fun games too. “Guess when you’ll finally conceive” or “Guess how many IUI’s you’ll have to do before getting pregnant” is always a fan favorite. Correct answers are the years 2011 through 2066 and 6 to 10 IUIs.
Jan 21
It’s another birthday and it’s time to blow out those candles. But golly gee wiz, what will you wish for? Duh!
It is wildly believed that before you blow your birthday candles out, you need to make a wish and if you don’t tell anyone, it will come true. Maybe that’s why you aren’t pregnant yet because every single person in that room knows what you wished for. Even your two year old nephew knows that you wished for a baby. Close your eye. Deep breath “By my next birthday, I wish to be pregnant or have a baby.” Blow out those candles (all 45 of them!). The room is awkward as everyone claps politely, even your uterus applauds. How wonderful! She blew out all those candles but we all know what she wished for. “I bet she wished for a baby,” Great Aunt Gertie whispers the obvious.
Oh great. Now, EVERYONE knows what you wished for, so how will it come true? Well maybe you’re wrong everyone! Maybe you actually wished for plentiful cervical mucus and for your husband to magically produce good quality semen! Not to worry, according to your fertility doctor you’re still very young.
Now, who wants a slice of cake?
photo: here
Jan 21
The infertility advice.
It comes from anyone and everyone from your Great Aunt Mildred (“In my day, I would drink a special tea to get pregnant”) to your eyebrow waxing lady (“I got pregnant by getting really drunk“). Did we ask for your advice? It seems that everyone believes they are qualified to hand out infertility advice but somehow it’s not reciprocal. Your mommy friend can give you advice on your IVF treatment but you can’t give her parenting tips?
MOMMY FRIEND: Little Tommy just won’t sleep through the night. We’re currently trying the Cryhiseyesout method but nothing seems to be working.
YOU: Have you tried a routine and putting him to bed every night at the same time? (Her look says, why is this childless woman giving me parenting advice?)
YOU: We’re going for our fourteenth IVF cycle next month.
MF: I heard putting pillows under your behind after sex will help.
(Your look says, that was so five years ago, lady).
Great news! Everyone is allowed to give you infertility advice and you are not allowed to give out any advice whatsoever. Great. That seems completely fair.
photo: here
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