How do you go shopping when you think you might get pregnant soon?

Infertility really takes the fun out of shopping. Remember when this retail therapy use to be fun? Now, you go into clothing stores and wonder if you should purchase those jeans or that small t-shirt if you might be pregnant soon. Why spend money on clothes if they won’t fit in a few months? No matter how many months or years, you’ve been trying, this thought still crosses your mind. Spending $100 on a shirt would be fine but what if I can only wear it once?

You might think to yourself, ‘I might as well purchase these jeans, I’m not getting pregnant anyways.’ Then you end up spending money AND leaving the store angry. Only an infertile shopper could buy a new pair of jeans and feel upset at the same time.

And please, stop glaring at the maternity store when you walk by. Whatever you do, don’t go in.

A true infertile knows how to spell Endometriosis without having to google it first.

Does this sound like you?

You can spell Endometriosis with your eyes closed and you refer to your PCOS by its full name ‘Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.’ You know exactly what a varicocele is and you know that your husband has ‘male tube blockages’ rather than just plain old low sperm count.

You are convinced that people think you sound fancy or extremely intelligent when you use these large words. At parties, people assume you are a doctor when you discuss your latest Sonohysterography. “Oh my” You will laugh, “the nurse just saw a splendid image of my uterine cavity with her 5-f catheter.” You will soon be known in your circle of friends as bookish, sophisticated and knowledgeable. “My diagnostic laparoscopy was a whirlwind yesterday. ” You might say. “And those inquisitive fibroids presented no damage to my blocked fallopian tubes.” (Using a British accent is recommended).

Just think of all the new social groups that will beg you to join their elite circles!

You are one fabulous ‘polycystic ovary syndrome – premature ovulation failure – hyperprolactinemia – hormonal imbalanced’ female!

We all know one of these women.

The ‘insensitive infertile’ is a woman who seems to forget she’s ever had a problem getting pregnant. During her infertility struggles, she moaned and complained (similar to us) and later went on to have a normal pregnancy. She now rejoices in her pregnancy and seems to forget that you are still having troubles. She makes snide comments and even jokes around with you about your situation. She announces her pregnancy with glee and spends most of your conversations bragging about her baby shower and her new Bug-a-boo.

The insensitive infertile might have PCOS or Endometriosis or perhaps unexplained infertility. She is just like us but the only difference is she also has a short term memory. You simply cannot believe her insensitivity knowing that she had experienced it herself. You truly understand insensitivity from women who never experienced infertility but from someone who has?

Unbelievable!

The good news is you will never be an ‘insensitive infertile’ when you get pregnant. You have a very good memory – just ask your husband and that big-breasted woman he was ogling on your vacation 4 years ago.

No, the double pregnancy news does not mean ‘twins,’ it means hearing the same pregnancy news twice.

Your friend has gleefully told you she was expecting. You cheered too but inside your heart was aching and you had no idea how you were going to finish your sandwich without choking on your own sorrow. But you quickly realize that you will soon be hearing the same news at least three times more. To your horror, you are meeting with your newly pregnant friend for dinner with a bunch of other girls in a few days. But none of these other women know yet. You realize that you will have to hear the news all over again.

Is it easier to hear the same pregnancy news a second time?

In this case, you can at least mentally prepare yourself or at least pre-drink before the outing. But in the end, it won’t matter. You can prepare yourself all you want but if Aunt Flow arrives that day, no amount of mental preparation will help.

Here are some ways to cope for the double pregnancy news:

1) You can ruin it for her. As soon as your friends arrive, shout out her news before she gets the chance.
2) Upstage her. Do a drastic change to your hair or make-up and wear a revealing cocktail dress, even to a casual restaurant.
3) Bring up inappropriate conversation. Chat about the high statistics for miscarriages or a funeral that you recently attended.
4) Agree with her when she says she’s fat.
4) Cancel the dinner. You cannot attend because you will be traveling to an exotic destination (then don’t pick up your phone for two weeks so your friends will think you’re out of town).

Those seem like pretty healthy ways to cope.

You’ve heard many of your girlfriends say that their husbands or partners ‘just knew’ they were pregnant before they did.

Why doesn’t this work for you?

On more than one occasion your DH has been convinced you were pregnant. He would wake up in the morning and tell you about this wonderful dream he had about your baby. Other times, he would take a look at you and say that you looked different that day, almost like you had a maternal glow. Those simple words made your day, and you were convinced that your husband knew something you didn’t. Once your hubby even placed his hand on your belly and thought that he felt a different type of ‘energy or heat’ that couldn’t be explained. Well, you must have been pregnant. Right? But the next day he couldn’t feel the ‘energy’ anymore. You were in a bad mood all day. Those simple words from DH can change your mood in an instant. You can go from feeling absolutely depressed to being convinced that you are a new mother-to-be.

Maybe other husbands/partners just ‘know’ but next time yours thinks something might be different, tell him to be 100 percent sure before telling you.

After all, he will suffer the severe moody consequences.

This is a question we all seem to ask very frequently.

An infertile asking a fertile: “How did you know you were pregnant?” Or “What does it feel like to be pregnant?” When you were first TTC, you asked this question repeatedly to anyone who was showing: a co-worker, your friends, the woman at the gym. It was a time where it was exciting and new to be thinking about babies.

After a while, the question wasn’t as fun anymore but you still inquired anyways. You were just selective on the answers you wanted to hear. You liked when women said that ‘they had no idea they were expecting. They had no pregnancy symptoms’ or that it ‘felt just like they were getting their period.’ Those answers have you hope. You rationalized that if someone didn’t have any symptoms, you might be pregnant too.

Other answers were not as inspiring. You were not fond of the women who answered ‘I just knew right away’ or ‘I had a dream I was pregnant’ or even ‘I felt different.’ Those answers never gave you hope. You had the (very) occasional dream that the pregnancy test was positive or that you were pregnant, but AF always showed up a few days later.

By now, you might have stopped asking this question. But sometimes, in a weak moment, you will still ask Google, hoping to get an answer you want to hear.

I know you are enjoying reading all of these reasons to laugh at infertility. But has it crossed your mind, that one day, Infertile Naomi will get to reason #1 and you still won’t be pregnant?

I have thought of the very same thing. But mine is, what if I get to reason #1 and I’m not pregnant either?

The good news is that I’m not leaving this blog. I do plan to get knocked up (when is that happening, again? I didn’t get the memo), and I will still be here to finish all nine hundred and ninety-nine reasons to laugh. I hope we all never forget what it feels like to have trouble with infertility – in the moment, it may feel awful but in the long-run, wherever our paths may lead, we will be stronger and more sensitive women because of it, and maybe we can help other ‘infertile newcomers’ feel less alone too.

Just remember, after our first pregnancy, we can probably look forward to secondary infertility as well!

Awww… the grandparent guilt trip.

Depending on whether you have a sensitive mother, you might get the ‘will I ever be a grandmother’ talk. Your mother might say it directly to you or you know that she is chatting about it to all her friends. If she is aware about your fertility struggles, than dear old mom should really keep it quiet. I have a great and sensitive mother but I don’t know about the rest of you.

The great grandmother guilt trip is even worse. Since your grandmother probably doesn’t know about your infertility struggles, she will always say that she will be ‘in her grave before she gets a great grandchild.’

You know what granny, you may be right! But I promise I will bring your great grandchild right to the grave site.

Your grandmother probably wouldn’t understand about infertility or IVF. In her day, no one was infertile or at least no one talked about in public (or blogged about it!). She might often ask you ‘when are you going to have a baby already?’ Since you don’t want to upset her, you tell her that ‘you don’t know’ or ‘it’s not up to you anymore.’ She will not understand either comment and will conclude that your husband isn’t ready yet. How come no one ever asks him this question?

Mother, Grandmother, you will get a grandchild when the doctor shoves my husband’s sperm into my uterus. Perhaps 4 to 10 years later, you will be able to call yourself ‘grandma.’ Congratulations! Mazel Tov!

And you call yourself a responsible adult!

Did you know that if you have been trying for over two years, you have probably ingested over 1,000 Prenatal Vitamins and thousands of other fertility medications? You have prided yourself for giving up alcohol, not smoking, and reducing your caffeine intake but you seem to have neglected to tell your doctor that you are a bit of a drug addict.

Sometimes you need a hit so bad your husband will stick a needle right in your behind or you will take a pill with your meal right in a public venue. There could be children present you know! But nothing stops you. You might take up to 7 pills a day and then beg your doctor to try another kind if it didn’t have the desire affect. You might even ask him or her to increase your dosage.

And you expect to be a parent and raise children? Someone call social services!

You have a wonderful family of four, except that two of them eat dog and cat food.

You are the proud parents of two beautiful fur children. Does this sound familiar? Your house is set up as if you had kids – you own a baby gate and your house is seemingly childproof. You get up in the middle of the night with them and your weekday mornings typically begin at 6am for a morning walk and feed. You refer to yourself as mommy and daddy and you can’t go on vacation without hiring a babysitter.

Face it, you are a parent except your ‘children’ are far more harrier than your neighbors kids.

The best part about having fur children is that you will always get unconditional love from them, they will stay cute forever and they will always love what you made for dinner. They will never talk back to you, fail out of school or turn to recreational drugs, just for fun. They are happy to cuddle in your bed and even happier to watch you and your husband have sex.

You may not feel like a parent yet but you are.

photo: www.animalink.com/welcomepage.htm

An infertile blog has not done its job if it did not address cervical fluid in detail!

Cervical fluid. The stuff in your underpants you never knew existed until recently. You merely thought it was just a nuisance or you had a yeast infection. Tell Jenny and Sally to step aside because cervical fluid is your new best friend. You greet ‘her’ arrival with happiness and glee, as you know that she will soon bring her friend ovulation.

As your fertility books have informed you, you know when she has arrived by reaching in and stretching her out. Why must fertility books always compare this to food? Cervical fluid is like egg whites; yeast infections are similar to cottage-cheese. Forget about eating a cheese omelet after that! At least these books refrain from comparing them to delicious foods like candy or cookies or pasta. “Your husband’s semen looks a little weak this month.” Your doctor would say. “It resembles marshmallows or white hot chocolate.” At least we can be thankful for that.

Just please never mention cervical fluid while you’re eating breakfast, especially while enjoying eggs and sausage.

Great news! You might never have to explain where babies come from to your future children.

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/I/IVF.asp

Most parents will have an awkward time of trying to explain to their young children how babies are conceived, and how to have sexual intercourse. Remember when your parents told you? Or maybe you don’t because you learned it from all the other kids on the playground. But your children will know the truth from an early age.

You can hardly wait to get the question: “Mommy. Where do babies come from?” You have your answer all ready. You will answer: “Sweetheart, when two people really love each other, they go to a fertility specialist who makes a baby for them. The mommy will get all these fun tests to make sure her insides are working, and daddy will have to pee into a small cup. But instead of pee, it will be a white color. Then daddy will pretend he is a doctor and give mommy medication and stick a tiny, little needle in her behind. Mommy might not feel good and look a little fat from all the medication. Then mommy and daddy will visit the hospital, and mommy will go to sleep while daddy pees again in a small cup. Then, mommy will wake up and relax in her bed until the doctor tells us if you are in mommy’s tummy yet. And that’s how babies are made.”

You should tell the kids this story early on so all the other school kids will know the truth too.

You and your husband have undergone fertility tests only to discover that there is nothing (medically) wrong with either of you.

Your doctor tells you that you have ‘Unexplained’ infertility. What? Please explain doc? Unfortunately, there are thousands of diseases out there but the good news is that the majority of them can be explained. Is there such thing as an ‘unexplained’ heart condition or an ‘unexplained’ surgical procedure? Even if they can’t diagnose the problem right away, doctors can perform other tests to identify a medical issue. With unexplained infertility, there seems to be no explanation.

Imagine applying this philosophy to life? Your friend invites you to a baby shower. Your RSVP reads: ‘Cannot attend. Unexplained reason.’ Your cousin asks you when you’re going to start trying for a baby. Your response: ‘I don’t have to explain.’ Your friend announces her pregnancy. You respond by throwing a large pie in her face and pouring milk on her head. Bewildered, she asks why. You just shrug. You don’t need to explain why you did that. Your boss asks you to explain a document. It can’t be explained, is your response.

Actually, life might be pretty good if things could remain ‘unexplained.’

Reason #950 was written by Meredith. Thanks for your suggestion!

Have you ever been fortunate enough to have a conversation with your mother about her menopause symptoms? Ironically, the symptoms are very similar to infertility.

If you’re lucky enough to have Endometriosis, the doctor will tell you there are two ways to treat it: surgery and monthly injections of a drug called Lupron. The doc might also tell you that surgery could help, but there is no true way to see the back side of your organs to make sure there isn’t any Endometriosis still there, so Lupron is the best way to go.

One shot a month, no big deal right? HA! The Lupron brings your hormone levels down to zero, to get rid of all that pesky Endometrial tissue. Thus, forcing you to have similar symptoms to that of a menopausal woman. Your mother or mother-in-law and you will spend hours discussing your hot flashes and night sweats (you both seem to have tried standing next to the open freezer and eating popsicles to cool yourself off). You know that your husbands can empathize with each other about your moodiness and total lack of sex-drive.

The good news: you know what it will be like when you’re 50ish and entering menopause.
The bad news: you know what it will be like when you’re 50ish and entering menopause.

You know the game. You play it almost every week. The ‘next year at this time I better be pregnant’ game.

The game takes on many forms including: ‘Next year at this time,’ I could have a baby. ‘Next year at this time,’ I might be on maternity leave. ‘Next year at this time’ I better be pregnant already. This ‘game’ is played many times throughout your infertility journey.

When you first start TTC, the ‘game’ is almost fun….

On your birthday: next year at this time, I will be pregnant.
Valentines Day: next month, my husband and I will be enjoying lots of baby-making!
In the dentist chair: next time I sit in the dentist chair, I could be 5 months pregnant.
Christmas: next year at this time, there will be a baby.
In the summer: next summer, my husband and I will happily grow our family.

When you start having infertility problems, the ‘game’ gets less fun….

Birthday: next year at this time, I will have gone through fertility treatments.
Valentines Day, next month, my husband and I will be charting our baby-making.
Dentist chair: next time I sit in the dentist chair, I hope I’ve ovulated at least once.
Christmas: next year at this time, the adoption process from Korea might have started.
Summer: next summer, my husband and I will be in fertility counselling.

My advice is don’t play this ‘game’ too often. It’s really not that fun. Twister, Go Fish and Janga are better options for you.

Did you know that you could actually touch your own cervix to predict ovulation? If you are a true infertile, you have already tried…

When you first met your husband, you were shy about doing Number Two in front of him. Now, you go into your bathroom and try to touch your cervix. You have no shame left. “Honey. Someone’s on the telephone for you.” Your husband shouts while you’re in the bathroom. What can you say? “I’ll call them back. I only have one hand right now.”

A friend recommended I read the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler claiming that it was “life changing.” I read it and was kind of hoping that the book would make me pregnant. It didn’t. The author gives a detailed account about how to touch your cervix properly:

“As you approach ovulation, your cervix tends to rise, soften and open. It progresses from feeling firm like the tip of your nose (when not fertile) to feeling soft like your lips as you approach ovulation.” Now that sounds like fun! Go ahead stick your hand right up there.

The workplace toilet is not recommended.

Which is better? Learning a friend is pregnant before or after you eat?

You are meeting your friend for lunch and she excitedly blurts out the news that she is eating for two. Inside, a deep, familiar sadness starts to pound at your chest. Your eyes quietly water behind your lids. Your inner voice says: “I started trying months ago, how did she get pregnant so quickly. Why isn’t it me?” But your outer, rational voice says: “Oh my gosh. I am so happy for you. You look great. You’re not even showing yet.” Now it’s time to look at the menu. She happily can’t decide what to order but you are a different story. You now have either lost your appetite completely or you try to find the most unhealthy item on the menu. Most likely, your appetite is ruined and you feel terrible for secretly feeling so selfish.

But why are YOU the one feeling selfish?

SHE just ruined YOUR appetite. You were hungry a minute ago and now you don’t know if you can even stomach bread and water. It cost you money to drive to the restaurant and now you can’t even eat! You paid $12.00 to park and took time out of your busy schedule to meet her. If she had waited until after the meal, you probably would have felt sick to your stomach anyways. Now you have to wait at least another hour to have a complete breakdown and cry in private. Your evening is pretty much ruined. In my view, SHE is the selfish one.

When the restaurant bill arrives, let her treat.

In attempts to cheer you up, I also wanted to point out that there are probably a lot of other things wrong with you other than infertility. You have a whole lot of other problems that you should also be depressed about.

To give you something else to think about, here are a list of other things that are probably wrong with you too:

1) You have an embarrassing secret that no one knows about you.
2) You have a phobia and you would benefit from professional help.
3) You sprinkle a little bran in your cereal to help with your constipation.
4) You believe you may have Irritable Bowel Syndrome or OCD or some type of panic disorder.
5) You are not sure if you’ve ever had an orgasm (BTW, if you’re not sure that means you probably haven’t).
6) If you’re husband didn’t marry you, you are pretty sure no one else would have.
7) You think about quitting your job.
You have more dandruff that you are willing to admit.

You probably have at least two of those afflictions and you should be far more depressed about that than being infertile.

I really hoped that cheered you up. You are welcome.

Reason #955 was written by fellow infertile, “Mandie from the Sticky Chickies”

We can only really guess why Mandie is so sticky….

Once a room where you merely did your business and left (or stayed awhile and read the newspaper), the bathroom has now become a private place full of both hope and sorrow.

You sit on the toilet as much as you sit on the couch or sleep in your bed. You have sequestered a special drawer containing all of your TTC materials, wishing it had a lock to keep your craziness concealed. Your special drawer contains Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor test strips and a selection of Dixie cups to pee in almost every day. You are at the point now where you need to either buy a bigger bathroom trash can or get one with a lid to conceal all the evidence. The budget for toilet paper has almost doubled because of all of your inspections.

Next to the ovulation pee sticks is the holy grail: the pregnancy test. At first, you might not keep any tests in the house unless you are late for your period… (you don’t want to get your hopes up). But you give in and begin purchasing these tests in bulk. You now have over 30 pregnancy tests since you began testing at 6 DPO. Lastly, next to all of these fun items are your tampons and pads. You know good ole reliable Aunt Flow will be showing up soon anyways.

Good ole reliable AF.

Remember when your high school boyfriend dumped you? For weeks afterwards, you thought you saw him or his car everywhere. It’s the same with pregnant women. As soon as you start thinking about pregnancy, they seem to just appear before you.

But when you’re having trouble conceiving, these pregnant women seem to purposely walk by you. You can no longer go anywhere without being forced to see several pregnant women and baby strollers everywhere. It’s like they knew you were coming and called up all their pregnant friends. When you see these ladies, a familiar ache forms somewhere between your chest and your upper abdomen. It feels like your heart is actually aching and your inner voice will think ‘Am I EVER going to get pregnant?’ It sometimes feels like your entire neighborhood is more fertile than your garden. Fertility specialists claim that thousands of women have trouble conceiving, so why then is your entire city pregnant?

For those of you who go to the gym (and I know some of you don’t), never workout during the pregnancy fit classes. Every woman walking by you will be pregnant, and you will not feel better about yourself after your workout. You might as well just get a burger and fries now. But you can pretty much guarantee, there will be at least one pregnant belly in that burger joint.

Make that an extra large fries, please.

Every time you go to your parents house, there seems to be an article clipped out just for you about a topic that your mother is worried about that day.

Your mom has recently made it her mission to clip out any and every newspaper article about infertility on your behalf. Mommy typically pulls you aside and whispers in your ear “there is a newspaper article for you upstairs.” Sometimes she’ll send you an email too – ‘Remind me to give you an article I found when you come over tomorrow.’ The email will read. Thanks mom.

But chances are if she saw the article, you did too. You are secretly (or not so secretly) obsessed with those articles about trying to conceive. You could have written the article yourself. “Have you ever charted your temperature using something called a ‘Basal Thermometer’?” Your mom will innocently inquire. “Yes mom. I have been recording my temperature for 2 years now but thanks.” You will say. Your parents have been clipping out newspaper articles for years now. Your dad will clip out any articles relating to your high school or your career while your mom has always clipped out matters relating to your health (including teenage depression, boyfriends and later personal health issues). But now it’s all about infertility.

When you’re a mom, try to remember to clip out newspaper articles more subtly.

You are like a baby bump spy.

Anytime you are with friends, you lurk around for any suspicious looking baby bumps or extra fat around their belly. You don’t know why you feel so compelled to look at someones belly, as it tortures you a bit, but your eyes always seem to glance quickly in the belly direction. It’s kind of like when your husband checks out a girl – he looks quickly and then diverts his eyes (although in that case, it’s definitely not torturing him).

Every time you see a group of friends, you feel compelled to check out their bellies. Who is pregnant? Who do you think is pregnant and who is not telling yet? It’s like you are trying to mentally prepare yourself for when they make the big announcement. “I’m pregnant” Your friend will later say with glee. “Oh I already knew.” You boast. It’s kind of like you’re saying ‘I already knew months ago so I’m okay with it now.’ But truthfully, you think that your friends might be checking out your belly too. In your case, you might pretend that you are expecting by purposely wearing a larger shirt, scratching your belly from time to time and refusing any alcohol. If they are too shy to ask you if you are pregnant, are you really going to correct them? If they do ask, you will tell them the truth but if they don’t, maybe you WILL be pregnant the next time you see them so it won’t be a lie.

Your mind works in mysterious ways.

If only someone could look into your future and tell you that one day you would be pregnant, you could just relax. You could relax knowing that you will soon get your miracle but until then you have no confirmation that you will be able to conceive.

It’s like having your first boyfriend. You wasted months or even years crying after he dumped you. If only you knew that your wonderful husband would soon arrive, you would have enjoyed being single much more. And you would have never wasted time crying over ‘what’s his name.’

One of the worst things about infertility is not knowing. Not knowing when you’ll conceive or even if you can conceive in the first place. So let me be your crystal ball and see into your future. You will conceive, you will have lots of babies, you will lose 10 pounds and you will find a job that you love. How do I know this? I know that if your real ‘pregnancy plan’ had worked out and you already had your babies, you would not be in the same place you are today. Maybe because of your infertility issues, you ended up starting a new job or a new business or moving to a new home or going on a great vacation. Things that you would have never done if you were pregnant when you wanted to be.

Infertility sucks but your life doesn’t have to.

You think of yourself as a fairly or at least moderately attractive woman. But suddenly you are diagnosed with PCOS and you find out that you might just turn a little bit ugly.

With PCOS, you could have any of the following symptoms to name just a few:

• darkening and thickening of the skin on the neck, groin, underarms or skin folds
• thinning hair
• acne, weight gain and obesity;
• infrequent periods or no periods at all
• enlarged ovaries with multiple small painless cysts or follicles

AND excess hair all over the body, including the face.

When you were in high school, you were a little happy that you never got your period and the birth control pill seem to regulate your body. However, in the back of your mind, you wondered if there was a problem but as high school kids do, you lived in the moment. As your beard grew, you spent more hours in the bathroom tweezing than your own father. You always look “clean-shaven” but only because you pluck everyday so you don’t grow a full mustache. If you were lucky enough to have all of the PCOS symptoms, you could be obese, with a faceful of acne, balding and a goatee. That actually sounds like you’re a man. Maybe THAT’s your infertility problem!

Yes. With PCOS, you have turned into a real beauty.

It’s your anniversary only you will remember. You have been trying to conceive now for one year or two years or more and it’s coming up to the date when you first started trying for your baby. You might not remember the exact date but you know the month.

Happy Anniversary?

When you were boyfriend and girlfriend, your anniversary was a big deal. You received some earrings and were taken out for a romantic dinner. For your wedding anniversary, your husband spoiled you with a vacation or a nice evening out. Now, you are coming up to your other anniversary – your TTC anniversary. During your first TTC anniversary, you sadly mentioned it to your husband, but you received no jewelry, just a pity kiss on the cheek with your husband telling you not to worry it “hasn’t been that long.” That year you “celebrated” by booking your first fertility appointment.

But now you are reaching your second or third or fourth or tenth (gulp! don’t let that be me, you think to yourself) year. How are you going to celebrate since no one is going to remember but you?

Here are some suggestions. Start the day by sending yourself flowers or chocolates directly to your office than decorate your cubicle with balloons. Your co-workers will definitely crowd around and you can proudly say that you are celebrating your anniversary. It is not necessary to say which anniversary. Maybe you can get one of them to take you out for lunch to continue the celebrations! Next, buy yourself something pretty on your way home. Then pick up your favorite foods for dinner and the largest and most fattening piece of chocolate cake you can find. After dinner, light candles and take a bath (but do NOT read any infertility books in the bathtub this time). Enjoy your day and think about how next year at this time you will hopefully be pregnant.