These people can be parents and we can’t? Can you say “Balloon Boy?”
Feb 14
Watch out for those Progesterone side effects. But perhaps two vagina’s would get us pregnant quicker.
photo: here
Feb 14
“I love you, darling. Now kindly stay away from my vaginal area.”
It’s Valentine’s Day and while all other couples are romantically embracing, you must tell your sweetheart that your vagina is off limits today. You can’t have sex for a number of reasons including (but not limited to):
- You have timed intercourse and you had sex yesterday. If you ‘do him in’ today that will throw off your entire schedule, and he can’t be shooting blanks.
- You just had an IUI/IVF and you don’t want to jiggle and jangle your body.
- You are having a Valentine’s Day period! Aunt Flow just showed without flowers and is all red in the face.
- You are in an IVF cycle and you are under doctor’s orders NOT to have intercourse.
- You are recovering from your fifth miscarriage.
- You would have sex but a negative pregnancy test just made you not in the mood.
- You have the off limits vagina. You have just inserted nine vaginal suppositories into your hoo ha, and no one would want to explore that territory right now.
- You’ve had baby making sex over 3,000 times this year. You just don’t want to do it.
Valentine’s Day infertility rocks!
Feb 10
The conversation you never want to have with your parents.
“Mom, dad, we have something to tell you. We are having fertility problems. We did a Hysterosalpingogram with our Reproductive Endocrinologist and found out I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and husband suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, Azoospermia or Oligospermaesthenia. We are going to try an Intrauterine Insemination before attempting In Vitro Fertilisation with Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just take your super advice of ‘just relax and it will happen.”
No guy wants to know that his penis suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, Oligospermaesthenia meaning poor sperm motility or Teratozoospermia meaning abnormal morphology in sperm. If male infertility isn’t funny, why must they give his penile diagnosis such long and complicated names? If low sperm count wasn’t bad enough, telling the guys that he has Oligospermia with a hint of Teratozoospermia doesn’t make him feel all that proud. Why don’t they re-name male infertility to a more masculine medical diagnosis like “Largethinglackingsperm,” “Powerfulpenialspermia” or even “Bigontheoutsidebutemptyonthein.”
Your hubby suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia. Now try saying that tongue twister three times fast!
Feb 08
Your friend just had a baby.
You are soooo happy for her even if it only took her one month to get pregnant. You are definitely 90 percent genuinely happy for her and 10 percent envious. After all, she is your BFF, you should feel happy for her.
When you first found out she was pregnant, you cried. Your tears were 99 percent excitement for her and 1 percent tearful jealousy. She tried to break the news gently but you sweetly said “forget about it. I am so genuinely happy for you.” Even as her belly grew and you planned her baby shower, you were still soooo happy for her. Maybe 80 percent happiness and 20 percent jealousy. But of course, no one wants to hear that you’re jealous, so you just kept that part to yourself. You watched her post her “Bump Alert” photos on Facebook and felt obligated to comment on each photo so you weren’t the jealous infertile friend. “OMG, your belly looks sooooo cute!” “Look at how perky your breasts are!” Each time you saw her, you asked the customary “can I touch your belly?” question.
You were so freakin’ happy for her. Definitely 70 percent happiness, 20 percent jealousy, 5 percent guilt for feeling envious and 5 percent anger towards her for getting pregnant before you. Baby arrives. You feel genuine excitement and call up everyone to spread the happy news. You don’t feel a hint of jealousy. Well. Maybe only 40 percent. But the rest is genuine happiness, you promise.
photo: here
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