As Seinfeld puts it, sometimes we just don’t want to see the baby. Only an infertile would understand why…. Continue reading »
Jan 04
Does this sound familiar?
You are sitting on the toilet seat in your bathroom, going about your business, when you remember the used negative pregnancy stick sitting in your garbage can. You take it out of the trash and look at it again. Yup. Still negative. Then a “brilliant” thought enters your mind….. What if you pee on it again and see if it changes to a positive. You know the test instructions claim that it is invalid after 10 minutes but it doesn’t say anything about the validity of a used pregnancy test after 24 hours. And this is when you do the “re-pee.”
RE-PEE
Verb, definition: to urinate on a used pregnancy stick (preferably your own) to see if it changes from negative to positive.
Strangely, when you do the re-pee, nothing happens. Maybe something is wrong with the test! There is still only one line and then you throw the used test back into the trash can. Hide all the evidence. Later, you might confess to your partner or friend what you did. But don’t brag about it. Only an infertile understands the re-pee. Other people just think urinating on a used stick is gross. When clearly, it’s not.
Don’t be ashamed to do the re-pee. It happens to all of us.
Dec 28
Is it your period or is it implantation bleeding? It’s a special moment in your marriage when your husband suddenly becomes the ‘Sanitary Napkin Expert.’
“Let me see,” he will say as you sit on the toilet analyzing your red colored urine and spotting pad. Initially, you will refuse but since you have no shame left, you will let him see. He will stand over the toilet bowl observing the color of your urine and review your diaper-like sanitary pad. He suddenly becomes the expert in blood clots and your menstrual cycle. “The right side of the pad looks slightly browner than the left with a consistent circular pattern,” he observes. “And your urine definitely looks more pink than yellow. This coming from the man who once thought your Maxi Pad was a mini pillow for a small dog. Now, he examines and analyzes almost as much as you do.
If you don’t think this will happen to you and your partner, just wait. He will become the Sanitary Napkin Expert one day.
Dec 24
It’s another New Years Eve, and you hoped and prayed that this year you would have a baby or at least be pregnant. Instead, you plan to ring in the New Year with a bag of potato chips and a bottle of vodka, for one. But who would want to have a boring 2009 pregnancy anyways? Yawn. Snore. 2009 brought the world the recession, the H1N1 pandemic and the death of Michael Jackson. Who could be pregnant during such negativity anyways? 2010 is filled with renewed hope and strength that you are stronger and can get through anything. 2010 brings better looking babies, smarter children and toddlers that will change the world. 2010 is YOUR year!
Your 2010 New Years Resolutions:
- To cry and obsess about infertility more often. You should take the time to cry in different public places.
- To buy toilet paper in bulk so you can inspect the TP more frequently without worrying about running out.
- Be environmentally conscious. Re-use pregnancy tests for other uses including donating them to the arts & craft departments at your local schools or giving them to less fortune knocked up teenagers.
Crying about infertility is so 2009. Happy New Year!
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