Hey Fertile!

Need advice on how to tell your infertile friend, you are expecting? Here are some helpful and sensitive tips.

1. Wear a shirt that says “I’m pregnant but it’s not my husband’s.”
2. Don’t tell us at all. Avoid us for 9 months and then suddenly appear with a baby, claiming that you stole it.
3. Come to our fertility appointment and when our legs are in stirrups, share your good news.
4. Tell us your news in a language we don’t speak.
5. Make your announcement after handing us a large sum of money.
6. Tell us your news when we are sleeping or unconscious.
7. Find a card that says “Only slutty girls get knocked up on their first try.”
8. Tell us that your baby will probably inherit your husbands nose and receding hair line.
9. Tell us that you’re pregnant but we get to keep the baby.
10. Slap us across the face so we we are already in pain when you tell us the news.