You know you’re infertile when you look at fertility websites on a Saturday night. Isn’t it bad enough that you obsess about infertility during the weekdays, but why must you spend your Saturday nights surfing the internet and asking Doctor Google if you might be pregnant?

Once upon a time, you threw on a sexy(ish) outfit and went out on Saturday nights. Now, your Saturday nights consist of one, if not all, of the following:

1. Spending the evening at home, googling words like “Am I pregnant?” or “Fertility drugs, side effect.”
2. Seeing or renting a movie that features some aspect of infertility. Your recent movies included ‘The Back-Up Plan’ starring Jennifer Lopez and an IUI and ‘The Switch‘ starring Jennifer Aniston and a cup of sperm.
3. You went to a party at your friends house but everyone left at 4pm so they could put their children to sleep.
4. You stay home because all your friends have kids or pregnant and too tired to go out.
5. You snuggle up in your bed with a glass of wine and a “How to Increase my Fertility” book.
6. You stay home on Saturday nights because you have to take your fertility injection between 6pm-10pm, and refuse to jab yourself in public.
7. You look at Twitter and blogs to see who is still infertile and got pregnant this week.
8. You go to bed early because you have a fertility appointment on Sunday at 7:00am.
9. You would really like to take a bath but you are (a) worried that you might hard-boil anything down there or (b) you are filled with vaginal suppositories.
10. You stay home on Saturday night to ‘do it.’ It’s ovulation time, honey.

For the love of cervical mucus, go out already! One day WHEN you do have children, you might actually want to go out on a Saturday night. Live in the moment and enjoy life now!