Take note, Fertility Clinic
Some useful suggestions for your fertility clinic…
- When the nurse calls me to tell me the results of my negative pregnancy test, please tell her not to sound so cheerful.
- You should think about opening up a liquor store or therapist office directly beside your clinic.
- When I leave a message on your voice mail, please call me back right away, instead of waiting 8 hours to return my call.
- My husband has requested more current magazines and videos for the “special” room. Please remove any material that contains photos of Betty White or the cast of Glee.
- You should make house calls so I don’t have to wake up at 6:00am for a transvaginal appointment.
- I don’t want to pay $10,000 for a fertility treatment. Can you give me a discount or make it buy one get one free?
- Please fire any staff members that say, “just relax and it will happen.”
- If you can’t get me pregnant, give me my money back.
Thank you kindly for your consideration of my suggestions.
HAHA–”if you can’t get me pregnant, give me my money back.” Oh, I so wish. I even wish I could have the satisfaction of suggesting that. I don’t think any of the offices I’ve been in even have a suggestion box. They are probably frightened of what us desperately frustrated and hormonally jacked-up ladies would say!