Well, that was uncalled for…
You already had a plan for this month’s cycle. You had useless baby-making sex during ovulation and you decided that you had at least a 1% chance of hope this month that you could actually be pregnant.
If your period was late, you planned to check the toilet paper hourly and pray that you didn’t see your Auntie Flow. If it was one day late, you might go to the store and pick up a pregnancy test or perhaps, you would wait until it was at least two days late, just to be on the safe side. Every hour your period is late would add to your hope.
But then your period arrived a freakin’ two days early and your plan was thrown off completely! What the fertile, Auntie Flow!!! That was clearly not in the plan. Now, you start to obsess and thoughts race through your infertile brain…. Is it my period or is that implantation bleeding? It’s only a little bit of blood. Is that really my period?
Then, you begin bleeding more and more (and of course, you don’t have a pad or tampon in the house), and it becomes clear that this is your period. NOT FAIR! You didn’t even get the chance to obsessively take your temperature every day it was late. You were also planning to have your infertility-related emotional breakdown on Monday instead of Saturday! You were planning to start the tears in the bathroom of your work office. Now, your husband has to spend his weekend comforting you and you will, unfortunately, be able to drink alcohol at Mindy-Sue’s party on Saturday night.
You win this month, period. But next month, watch out! It’s time for you to kick some infertile ass!