Your friend is pregnant. You know because every day she posts pictures of her growing belly on Facebook, and then you spend hours crying during her baby shower.
But do you really have to play the extremely un-fun game of “Guess your Due Date” as well? This ‘game’ starts when your friend’s due date is nearing, and everyone is invited to play. People gleefully play the game, giggling “January 1… No! I’m guessing January 3 instead.” You might even play just to show you are a stable infertile and completely not jealous of her pregnancy. But with every good game, there should be a prize. So what do you actually win? I think it’s fair to suggest, you should win her baby. Just a joke, of course. You say to her husband with a strange high pitch laugh. You are also a fan of “Guess the name” and “Is it a boy or a girl?” But how about “Guess how much baby weight she’s gained?” or “Guess how long it took her to get knocked up?”
Now, they should participate your super fun games too. “Guess when you’ll finally conceive” or “Guess how many IUI’s you’ll have to do before getting pregnant” is always a fan favorite. Correct answers are the years 2011 through 2066 and 6 to 10 IUIs.
I hear you. Everything with the words baby, pregnant and happy (not so much with the last one, but when used in combination..can be deadly for me) are starting to annoy me. We've been trying for 4 years. My friend is PLANNING on STARTING to conceive in September and I keep thinking…yah right, it may not be that easy.
AMEN!
Ha! True dat. I needed the laugh, thanks. And I'm glad to have dodged this bullet, that would have otherwise been my day yesterday.
When I play the due date game, I always guess a date that has already transpired.
Suckers.
I was at a shower where we did guess the girth of the mother to be. That was a good one. I thought she looked about 3 times as big as she normally did, so I guessed 90 inches. Woops.
Exactly why I decided I am through with baby showers until I get one too.
I just found your blog and this is exactly what I needed today…hilarious (in that sad way!).
you could also play 'guess the father!'
I was looking at your ads at the top of your page and even found them kind of funny:
Free c-section info kit, childrens indoor play gym, and baby gender selector…
I know you dont decide what is up there…just thought it was kind of ironic.
Lol..this is great. I like the guess the father game too.
The last shower I was at was the dreaded, guess how big the belly is. I of course won…..Ugh! Luckily, the prize was chocolate and not one of those crappy gifts that's actually a baby gift that you give back to the mommy to be.
All the way home I drowned my sorrows in my chocolate bar.
I really like the "Guess how long it took her to get knocked up" game. Everyone should play that game at showers.
ha ha I like the guess the father game!
And I have mastered the art of 'oops I have already made plans – sorry….' a bottle of wine with a friend is a much better day out!!
HAHA..Fabulous. And to really make them jealous, they should play "Guess how many times I've had unprotected sex" Anyone in the 4 digit rage should get a prize!
I SOOO love your sarcasm! And even more seeing as how I feel the same way!!! Even though I hate those things, sometimes I feel that they are much like a train wreck – you want to look away, but just have to look at it. Why do I take part in such nonsense, when I hate it so badly, and please, please, please if I'm ever given a baby, remind me not to do the same stupid things. ;o)
I just wanted to thank you so much for your blog. I look forward to every new post. It's nice to finally be bringing some humor into the crappy world of infertility. Thank you!
I have started skipping showers all together, so I haven't had to play the game in awhile. PHEWWWW
How about guess how old my baby would have been if I had concieved right away.
Travel and Julie – Ohh, I like this game! You baby would be 16?
Then there's the RPL edition, guess how old my kids would be, had they lived.
Seriously, I love the suggestion of getting to win the baby!
I completely busted out loud with laughter at this. Hilarious!
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Alena
http://ovarianpain.net
Thank you so much for this blog. After 3 years of ttc and 3 miscarriages, I really needed to read this today. I did notice there isn't much about miscarriage on here. It might be tough to make that funny but you seem to make so many other unpleasant things a giggle.
Thanks again!
"you should win her baby". ROFL!
I found this and put it in my blog, i think it's hilarious, and you should put it in your blog too, as the next reason to laugh at infertility
Wake up at 5 a.m. and swing your arm at your bedside table until you find your basal thermometer. Stick the right end of it in your mouth, in the exact same position everyday, and try to stay awake for five minutes. As you begin to wake up, realize how badly you need to urinate and try to resist the urge without squirming too much. Mentally tell yourself, "Just relax, it'll work out" — chances are you'll hear that a few times today. Try to read the thermometer in the dark while your spouse continues to sleep. When that fails, take it into the bathroom with you. Sit on the toilet and position yourself to either pee in a cup or on a stick. If you're really good, try to squirt a little out first. Give yourself extra points if you manage to do this routine without overfilling your cup or splashing a test window. While you wait, check your genitals for mucus. If you're lucky enough to find some, play with it! Look at it, feel it, stretch it. When you're done, pick up your scientific-looking form and chart your findings. Compute the data, and mutter to yourself, "You're probably just not trying hard enough" — it won't be the last time you hear that today. If the calculations add up, go back into your bedroom and convince, cajole, and beg your spouse to have intercourse — and all the while remember not "to let the spontaneity go out of your sex life." After you're done, prop your buttocks up so it's higher than the rest of your body and lay there for a half hour. Figure out exactly how you're going to stay in that position for so long and still have time to shower, dress and have breakfast before you have to leave the house at 6:15. Say aloud, "If you can't even manage to do this, how will you ever manage parenthood?" — another comment you'll get at some point during the day. When you finally make it out the door, remind yourself that, "This is the easy part" — you'll hear that later as well. Give yourself a pat on the back for not only completing 5 a.m. chemistry class, but for also getting yourself ready for pop quizzes in interpersonal communication!
juz wow what u wrote really made me happier! (ok i know you’ll reckon im a crazy haha!) Sorry for my bad english! Relax with a couple of online games! Ciao