You have been to your fair share of kids birthday parties. You received your pity infertile invitation to little Mindy’s 1st birthday party but spent the entire party hanging out with your uterus, chatting with your ovaries, and tearfully listening to your mommy friends talk about breast milk and poopy diapers.

But somewhere along the way the birthday invitations stopped coming. No one said it aloud but “IF YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS, YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY.”

Maybe your mommy friends think you have become that creepy childless woman who might steal their kids (they might be right) or perhaps they felt you wouldn’t feel comfortable with all those kids and all that pregnancy fertile-ness (they might be right too). Although you don’t want to go, it would be still nice to get an invitation. You knew that it was little Bartholomew’s 2nd birthday (because you saw the b-day photos on Facebook), and saw that your other mommy friends were invited. Where was your invitation? Maybe your friend was just being sensitive thinking “PCOS and her husband, Low Sperm Motility, won’t want to attend anyways.” But hey, just because you can’t lactate and really don’t want to attend anyways, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get an invitation. Right? You would have happily brought your unfertilized embryos to little Milly’s zoo party and you’re positive that your 1.1 mm follicles would have enjoyed some hot dogs and birthday cake too. Anyways, what’s a kids birthday party without an infertile girl sobbing alone in the bathroom?

Don’t piss off an infertile girl (filled with hormones). We don’t want to come to the party but we don’t want to be left out either.