Your pregnant Facebook friend, Sally, is a real fruit.
Each week fertile Sally updates her Facebook profile picture with a fruit-related photo to correspond to her pregnancy.
Week 12: Sally’s profile photo says that her baby is the size of a lemon!
Week 15: Oh my, Sally is a Red Delicious Apple!
Week 33: Sally is a pineapple!
Posting your fetus ultrasound photo is so 2010. Fruit-related pregnancy photos is the new 2011. Last night, you innocently checked your Facebook account to see that Sally had changed her profile picture to an avocado. Either Sally became a big fan of avocado’s or she is 16 weeks pregnant. You are pretty sure that all of Sally’s male and ‘we’ve-never-heard-of-infertility’ friends had no idea why she keeps posting fruit images. But thanks to www.mybabyisthesizeofapoppyseed.com, you know that this fertile Myrtle is expecting a baby kumquat.
Sigh.
But just because Sally’s baby daddy thinks that Sally is the apple of his eye and stuck his banana into her pear only one time, to make a little snow pea, doesn’t mean she has to go bananas and make a whole fruit salad announcement on Facebook. Sally, you’re a real peach. Orange you glad you’re an infertile?
This is great and so true! I had a fertile facebook friend who actually posted a new picture of her baby bump each week holding said fruit size of baby next to her bump! She has since had another baby and may even be pregnant again but I wouldn’t know! lol
LOL! What could be worse! Oh I know! If your fertile family member sent out weekly emails announcing which fruit size their fetus is.
I’m going to start losing weight next week, so maybe I can post a “my belly is the size of a watermelon” picture, the week after it will be a honeydew, after that, how about a grapefruit?
Haha…too funny!
Ugh im really mad at fb lol. I mean, they have every right to be happy blahblahblah, but seriously? Even for the average fertile this would be annoying! Its like the new lovebird conversation… No you hang up…no YOU hang up…..cue gagging and retching noises…NOW. lol!
Lol, so true!! Thanks for making me laugh on a not so easy infertile day!!
@dolciem–if you did that, it would be too funny and equally annoying! In the meantime, I don’t know how much you’ve all paid for your fertility treatments, but here’s someone who put her baby on the market for $15,000.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2045405/Unemployed-mother-arrested-trying-SELL-baby-friend–15-000.html
This is great, as always!!! I have never gotten to into the whole “facebook” thing. I guess this is another good reason not to! Thanks for always making us smile.
To hear my IVF story please visit, http://www.ivfsuccessstories.info.
I want so badly to post a status update of something to the effect of, “for the love of god, I don’t want to hear about your CIO (cry it out) sessions with your precious little baby. Stop f-ing complaining about no sleep. I would die to have no sleep and a baby right now. You wanted it, you got it. So stop complaining.” It’s only every once in a while I get angry
But I swear right now everyone is posting about their babies or their pregnancies. Ugh…
God u guys are so bitter!
U know ull all be doing exactly that when u get pregnant.
. and u should! Its a pregnant womans right of passage to annoyingly brag. 
we could also do the same during stimulation treatment: my belly was the size of a cherry at the first IUI, orange at 8th IUI, grapefruit at 2nd IVF and watermelon for my last ICSI (number 6) and NO I am still not pregnant but full of hormones!
Kristin,
Is this really how you feel or are you reacting without thinking?
When I was pregnant, I not only DIDN’T post things like that. I also was extremely careful about what I did post. Because after seven years of IF treatment, I was both scared and hopeful and, you know what, sensitive to other people who were still struggling.
You know when I told my casual acquaintances, coworkers, and facebook friend I was pregnant? When they asked. I did post ultrasound numbers and people who knew I was trying to get pregnant were tracking the pregnancy that way, but for people who didn’t want to know, I didn’t get up in their faces with my “My creepy cartoon fetus is THIS big today, because I am 57 minutes pregnant. “Oh wait, now it’s this big, because I’m 58 minutes pregnant!”
I didn’t begrudge myself the odd complaint to my husband or one or two close friends (although I was cautious with that too, because one of those friends was still mourning the end of her marriage and coming to terms with possibly not having kids or doing a single parent adoption.) and you know what, the baby was fine. Turns out you don’t have to broadcast every ache and pain or every flutter, or post pictures of fruit in order to give birth to a healthy, happy child.
To, as you put it, “annoyingly brag,” is not the right of a pregnant woman, or any woman, or really anybody at all. It’s the right of people to share their feelings as they see fit, but the instant you know you’re being a) annoying or b) bragging, it’s time to check yourself. And if you don’t have compassion for your friends and what they’re going through, it should come as no surprise when they have no compassion for you and shut you out.
The last time I was pregnant I didn’t post anything at all until the pregnancy ended in miscarraige… I was very careful about complaints because I decided ages ago that if I was ever pregnant again I would not complain about anything and that I would cherish every moment including any aches, pains, and morning sickness. The one thing I ever mentioned to my husband was that some of my symptoms were gone and I was worried about it. People can have self control.
My sister lost 2 babies to incompetent cervix before my nephew was born this year. She posted a lot more than I would have, but that is her choice. It would have been my choice if I had blocked her for awhile and I think she would have understood if I had. People make choices and you may or may not agree with it. Then you just have to make a choice that goes with it…. You can choose not to use social media, you can block a couple people, or you can suffer through it and try to be happy and not let people see your pain…
The fact is, there could be anyone who takes offense at anything. If we rejoice about our health, the sick may despair. If we rejoice out loud about our much deserved promotion, the long time unemployed may despair. Maybe instead of taking others blessings so personally, we could rejoice with them and count our own blessings, for there are many. Who knows how hard someone may have worked for what they have, or the pains they may have gone through to get there. Bitterly complaining about others happiness instead of choosing to share in it, is to me, negativity and selfishness. No offense meant.
Kristin I see your point. But we dont say those things in public, and we are usually so torn between feeling happy for our friends and feeling sad and bitter about ourselves. We are allowed to feel this way. But we are not allowed to voice them. This is one of the very few places an infertile can feel safe to express her.feelings. When people post insensitive things here, like calling us butter, it takes that feeling of safety away. I know you meant no harm, but honestly, if you’re a mother, you should know.better. How would you feel if you didnt have a child? How would you feel if you knew that you KNOW you’re a mother, but do not have your little.Jimmy or Sally? Infertile women are mothers without children. If, like in a movie, you woke up and everything in your life was the same but you dont have your baby would you not go batsh*t insane?
Thats what we do. Everyday. Doctor appts, drugs, injections, transvaginal wands… We are looking for our baby. The baby we know we have, we deserve. So when that doesn’t happen we get upset. We hurt, we suffer. We deserve a place to feel that hurt, to acknowledge to really really feel it. we deserve a place to offer support to one another, to release our pain in humour. Sometimes, yes, at the expense of the bragging woman. But another.poster said it perfectly…. Its fine to feel happy and excited. But when you brag you need to check yourself.
You would never go up to a person in a wheelchair and say “I’m going to walk up the stairs because I can. I so proud!” Or “Even though you’d love to have mt legs and use them to dance, run, walk, I’m going to sit on my rump all the livelong day!”
How would you expect the wheelchair ridden person to feel? Bewildered? Hurt? Angry? Of course! So when 1 in 3 people live with some form of fertility issue, why should we feel any different when we are treated.just like the wheelchair person in my example?
To sum up: Bragging about anything = not cool.
This is all just for fun and jokes, a way to escape our infertlity, i dont understand people who come on here to attack, it is all in good fun. I view this site as a way to deal w/my infertility and get a laugh, it is sort of therapy for me, people just need to grow up.
Well said Catharine, Anonymous.
Honestly, I know I’m bitter, and that’s something that I’m working on so I can be a better mother when someday the stars aline and I conceive. However, I do smile and congratulate every one of my friends and family members who are now having their 2nd or 3rd baby. We have been trying for almost 4 years. Just yesterday I went to a baby shower for two of my friends after being told earlier that day that the attempts to make me ovulate failed. I listen polity to the other mothers tell their latest “cute” story their children did, and even I Ooed and Awed . And next month when I host a baby shower for yet another friend that has gotten pregnant I intend to giver her the best baby shower ever.
This blog made me realize that I’m not alone. I finally found other people who TRULY understand the monthly heart ache of be infertile. If we need to make a few sour comments amongst ourselves I think we should be able to do that without criticism. I don’t go around telling people how to raise their kids, don’t tell me how to react to MY infertility.
@KC, VERY well said! I completely agree. I feel somewhat “lucky” that both of my sisters understand what I am going through, even though they both have kids now.
I just have to pray that one day I’ll get there. In the meantime, I have a place to go where no one judges me for the way I feel about my situation.
A FB friend of mine changed her photo to a jar of Prego pasta sauce, because she “just wanted to see if anyone would get it”. How clever.
As said before…this site is for laughs and to help make a tough time in our lives bearable. For myself, this is a kind of home…a place where I don’t have to pretend to be happy for others who can just think about getting pregnant for it to become a reality. It’s nice to not have to put on a facade, a relief really
And let’s face it…everyone deserves their miserable, bitter days. It’s healthy to have some and to feel ok to let that out.
Anyway…funny post as usual
The FB updates don’t really get to me. What gets to me is the complaining about pregnancy symptoms…grrrrrrr! When I was pregnant, I was very cognizant about enjoying every moment-whether embarrassing, painful, gross or magical. I just can’t stand the complainers. My own bias.
I think Kristin could have chosen her words better, but I understand what she is trying to say. My brother-in-law and his wife are infertile and I found this website because I was looking for resources on how to be sensitive to their situation. It has also been very hard on my in-laws balancing the joy they feel at the arrival of their first granddaughter (my daughter) with the sadness they feel for their other son who has a rare genetic disorder that has left him with little to no hope of ever conceiving.
I know this is a place for venting and a place to feel safe, and most of the time the comments are lighthearted, but there are also some very disturbing comments posted here at times. I found this site when I was pregnant and for weeks I would walk around and think that there were women and men walking past me on the street who actually hated me because I was pregnant. They didn’t know me or my story (I have PCOS and lost a baby to miscarriage), but they hated me.
The other thing that bothered me was that there was apparently this unwritten rule that pregnant women are never allowed to complain about their pregnancies. Well, I guess I was a complainer. I had hyperemesis gravidarum. It runs in my family. I was violently ill for 20 weeks. Think about the worst stomach flu you ever had and then imagine having it for 20 weeks straight and having to go on disability and worry that you are going to lose your job and your medical coverage just as you are about to be bringing a baby into this world. Sure, for some women pregnancy is sunshine and roses, but for others it is completely debilitating, and we could use a little sympathy, too.
I pray that each and every person on this board is blessed with a child one day, but until that day, I would ask those that are struggling with all the jealousy and the disappointment to try and find it in your heart to have compassion for your pregnant friends. If they are good friends, they will reciprocate, and their hearts will be filled with joy for you when you do have your child. But if you push everyone away because you are hurting, there just may not be anyone left to share in your joy when the time comes.
I think this would be a good reason to wear the common thread, so that all those suffering infertility know they arent alone. Like the yellow Livestrong bracelet that creates awareness and a common bond, thats what the pomegranate coloured thread is (#814 dmc). You can braid it, decorate it, whatever. Im not advertising, im just saying. I am going to wear mine so that ppl can ask me abt it and we can converse abt it. Maybe that will help erase.the stigma from infertility. If I ever get pregnant, I’ll still wear it, because I want infertiles to know that I am, and always will be, one of them.
To the.above poster…. Honey, we don’t hate you. We don’t hate any pregnant woman. We hate our infertility. That’s all. I cant speak for all of us, but I know most of us wish pregnant women well and smile at them, while we cry over our own shattered dream. It’s not you, it’s infertility.
To Anonymous….I respect your opinion, but I don’t think you really understand this site or the posters: a lot of what is said on this site is tongue and cheek and not meant to take be taken super seriously. We don’t hate pregnant women or women who have babies (heck, I have my own baby), but sometimes joking about our bitterness and sadness and about how unfair the world is is healthy and a good release for us. The humor keeps some of us going….and I think the VAST majority of us are supportive of our preggo friends. That’s why this place is so important. Because we can let our inner demons out and not worry what people will think. And not worry about hurting people in our own lives.
As far as women complaining about symptoms. It does bug me. Certainly I am NOT talking about what you went through. I had a friend go through that and it was horrendous. What I am talking about are women who complain about every ache and pain…and do it just to complain. There is most definitely a difference! If you have real complains, so be it…you’re entitled…otherwise, I don’t wanna hear it!
I don’t really like seeing all the facebook updates but I would much rather see someone excited about their pregnancy than complaining about it. It makes me think maybe they do know how lucky they are.
I love this site. I can come here to b*tch about the struggles and unfairness of infertility without people just telling me to “suck it up” & “relax and it will happen” & “remember, everything happens for a reason” & “God has a plan.” I would love another website where I could post all of the unfair things I deal with EVERYDAY, but I don’t know of any. Basically, what we do here is validate other infertiles feelings, which we all need. Because unless you’ve been there, you don’t understand. At all. I don’t hate pregnante women, I rejoice when I see them, because maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll be lucky enough to be one of them. I need that hope. Until then, though, I need a place to go where SOMEONE (other than my loving care husband) understands what it is I am feeling. I don’t mean to come off as bitter, I’m trying to come off as ironic, because without that, I’d go crazy!
@ Dara you just said what I feel. Thanks!
Your blog really blesses my heart! Thank you!!
I think Kristin is a douche. I am 21 weeks pregnant and have not put a damn thing on FB. We have a miracle spontaneous pregnancy and I will not be rubbing my infertile friends faces in it.
This was a weird article for me to read bc my name is Sally.. And I’m frustrated bc I just found out today that another month/yr has gone by w/o the hope of lil avocado to add to my fam.. To add to the dred I just wait, daily, to hear fm my hubs several cousins who are quite a bit younger than I that they are expecting… Yes yes I will be happy for them but the anticipation is dreadful.. Also tired of catching pity in the eyes of friends and fam when they see me playing with a lil one.. Their looks implying “Awww she looks good w a baby in her arms, it’s a shame she has all these infertility issues bc shes not getting younger, skinnier and theyve been married for so long already” and finally, though my hubs is so supportive the look in his eyes of love when we are with our godson, the loom of love, longing, hope nd sadness KILL me!!! Sorry had to vent.. This has been on my mind escaping in the form of tears all day..
I wish you continued success and a very nice page
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