Phone Whisperer
definition: noun
1. the act of talking on the phone while your mommy friend talks to you in a whispered voice as to not wake her sleeping children.
The Whisper Conversation
You: Hello!
Mommy Friend (whisper voice): Hi. How are you?
You (whisper voice too): Are your kids sleeping?
MF: Yes. The kids are sleeping. Wait. Are they sleeping? Let me check the video monitor.
Pre-children, you use to have a normal conversation with your friends. You could talk in a normal voice and have a long conversation. Now, she either (a) answers the phone in a whisper, (b) answers the phone while breastfeeding or pumping, or (c) talks to you and her children at the same time. When she answers the phone in a whisper voice, you also feel the need to whisper back.
You (whisper): Is little Donatello having a nap?
MF (whisper): I think he’s sleeping. Let me go check….(10 minutes later). He just had a poop so he can’t get back to sleep.
You (whisper): Maybe I should call you back later.
MF: (non-whispering): No. I’m free to talk. HUSBANNND!!!! GO CHECK ON DONATELLO AND SEE IF HE’S AWAKE!!!!
You: You don’t need to whisper, mommy friend, my ovaries and uterus have been asleep for the past three years. You ain’t going to wake them.
(Did you win our Giveaway? Check for our contest winner!)
*** FairHaven Health would also like to offer 10% off their online store (excluding the OvaCue, OvaCue Bundle, and Vaginal Sensor). Enter coupon code: infertilenaomi
BAHAHAHAHA! So true! And it doesn’t get much better when the kids get older either!
She “talks to you and her children at the same time.”….. UGH!! My BIGGEST pet peeve ever with my mommy friends.
Talks to kids at the same time – not acceptable unless it happens only once per conversation and someone would otherwise die. Puts kids (whom you haven’t met/can’t tell apart/couldn’t pick out of a lineup) on the phone to say hello to you – just hang up and never call back.
“MF” – you meant to do that, right?
Once again, another great post!! The funny thing is that I can relate to the infertile side and the mommy side. Never thought I would be able to say that, but my little miracle is almost two now. Hope all you ladies will be one of these “mommy friends” soon! http://www.ivfsuccessstories.info
That’s when you just want to go over and ring their door bell a few times unless they have the obnoxious sign up saying BABY IS ASLEEP! PLEASE DON’T RING DOORBELL! I’ve never rang & run….at least never that I’ll admit to….
Joey
Ha! I have no mommy friends..not even any pregnant friends anymore. In fact, any woman who just got married and is of child bearing age is off limits for friendship. I know that may sound like harsh criteria, but they’ll more than likely get pregnant before me and then our friendship will end because I allowed too much distance.
The only friends I have these days are online, IF ones who can relate. Sad.
love this! Check out my success story on my website. We have a little girl but will be doing another ivf cycle shortly to try for #2!
Well done, and sooooooooooo true! You are talking about something that has just happened… and then, you mommy friend (or sister, it also works with relatives) starts a parallel conversation with her children. And if it’s a problem you are talking about… it just goes… poof! ‘cos far less important than their last mischief…
“She talks to you and her children at the same time”….. My sister is guilty of this one and I always end the conversation because of it. How many times do I have to listen to her say “Wait, what did you say?” GAH! It drives me batty.