You were sitting on the toilet this morning when you noticed that the toilet paper had a trace of blood on it.
Your mind raced with exciting thoughts.
OMG. My period is not supposed to arrive yet. Could this be implantation bleeding?
It’s definitely not my period. Maybe I’m pregnant?
Then, you wipe again and the toilet paper is completely clear. What does that mean?! Now, you are sitting (attractively) on the toilet seat, feeling quite happy and hopeful that you might be pregnant until you remember….
You just did the nose blow and wipe.
Definition: Nose Blow and Wipe
verb 1. the act of blowing your nose on the toilet seat and then using that same toilet paper to wipe yourself after going to the bathroom.
You are aware that this is completely gross (that is why you don’t talk about it in public). But this time, your nose had been bleeding a little and when you used the same tissue, there was a little blood on the toilet paper. So it was likely not implantation bleeding but a direct result of the blow and wipe.
You’ve touched your cervical mucus with your own fingers; you’ve touched your own cervix to see if you’re ovulating and now, you’ve done the blow and wipe. It’s lucky someone wants to have a baby with you in the first place.
Implantation mystery solved, Agatha Christie.