Jun 13
It is one of the worst days of your life. You had been overjoyed to receive a positive pregnancy test after trying for so long only to find out you had sadly miscarried. A D&C procedure is quickly scheduled and you arrive at hospital feeling and looking your absolute worst.
As you and your husband anxiously wait for the surgery, you hear a familiar voice call your name: “Naomi? Is that you?” You turn around to see an old friend who you haven’t seen since high school. The D&C waiting room is probably the last place you ever want to run into someone and since you haven’t even told your parents about the miscarriage, you try to play it cool. ”Oh, hi Mindy” You say nervously. “How are your parents?” You and Mindy have awkward conversation for a few minutes as she tries to figure out why you’re at the hospital. “Everything okay?” She inquires. You fake a smile and say of course. But you are in a pre-surgery waiting room wearing a hospital gown with your behind exposed, so how good could you really be?
If you had known you were about to attend a high school reunion, you would have dressed up a little bit. At that moment, you probably couldn’t have looked any worse if you tried – you hadn’t showered in days, you have an extra 10 pounds thanks to the short-lived pregnancy and make-up is practically unheard of. You know your friend is dying to know why you’re there so she can gossip to your old high school friends. To your horror, you completely break down and tears flow from your face as you confess everything to the high school gossip. Your parents and close friends do not know about your miscarriage but at least everyone at Infertility Junior High will be well informed.
i don't know what else to say other than it sucks. and i totally admire and am impressed by the way you are so willing to put everything out in the open here. you're a total rockstar!
Thanks Jill. All us infertility gals are rock stars!
Thanks for sharing, great site and keep it up. I will be back!
I ran into my old GYN when I was at the hospital having my D&C. It’s hard having to explain what you’re doing there to anyone. Everytime a nurse came in I felt the need to clarify to them that it had been a planned pregnancy and this was a traumatic procedure for me. Urgh! I took my pain meds every 4 hours after the procedure until they were gone just so I could sleep and not cry about it.
I can’t say I’ve been there (thankfully), but I have run into people I know in my OB waiting room…they’re there for sonograms of their growing babies (all excited and happy), I’m there to get an IUI, script for Clomid, pelvic sono, etc. (stressed and on the verge of tears)…fun!
When I was getting my pre-D&C bloodwork done the lab tech was a former co-worker of mine. When she was drawing the blood she was like “How excited are you to be pregnant? Congrats girl”. I looked up at her and said “It was great, before it failed, I’m having a D&C tomorrow” harsh I know but I was in no mood to talk to her about my failed pregnancy. She was all sympethetic but really just wanted to tell her to shove it, what does she know about my problems, she has 4 healthy daughters, and she’s younger than me…
I work at the hospital that I had my emergency D&C at… That was not fun. Everyone knowing everything about what was going on. The sympathy is worse than if everybody just ignored I was there.