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A new Christmas gift idea: a purse that has an ovulation predictor kit holder.

No more make-up and gum. Your purse is now stuffed full of ovulation predictor kits (OPK). You can never have just one OPK on hand because typically you might use all seven, and realize that you still don’t know when your ovulating. Your purse is so full of these kits that you no longer have room for your lip-gloss. And forget about tampons or pads! Who wants to keep those in your purse anymore!

You want to make sure you are prepared for any opportunity that might come your way and you definitely don’t want to be tied down to just one OPK. Using the excuse that you have to go home and pee on a stick when all your friends are having a good time, just won’t cut it. Your friends already think you’re a bit off.

So, as an alternative, you protect your purse like a pitbull on a ham bone. Simply because you don’t want the whole world to know you are using up pee sticks like cherry popsicles on a hot day. In fact, you have even looked on the Internet for any OPK coupons.

And lastly, when confronted with using an OPK in a public restroom, you make sure your purse is prepared with a nice flat spot to lay the stick before you squat. Make sure that the door is locked and that no one accidentally walks in on you in an uncomfortable position (it’s kind of like when you squat on a toilet, you wonder if other gals are squatters too or just sitters). And while waiting for your OPK to bake, the only thing you have to do in the stall is text your husband with a play by play of the color changes.

Texting and peeing should probably be illegal.