“My friend’s dry cleaner’s daughter also took Clomid. Do you want her phone number?”
The second someone finds out you’re having fertility issues, they automatically want to connect you to someone with similar issues. Well meaning as they are, sometimes we just don’t want to call a complete stranger just because she has a similar blocked fallopian tube.
This happens a lot.
Your mother will pass along the phone number of her neighbor’s friend’s second cousin. “This girl did that IVF thing too,” Mom will say. “Give her a call.” Sure mom. I’d love to call a complete stranger and chat about how we were both artificially insemination by a turkey baster. “And Darlene’s daughter is a pyscho killer but she is also having an IUI next month. Why don’t you send her an email?” While it is nice to have a support system, sometimes we would rather not email a strange woman and bond over our husband’s low sperm counts. It’s not like your mother would say to your husband: “Wanda’s husband has low sperm motility too. Why not give him a call?” I’m sure those male factor infertility men would have the most splendid fertility bonding session over a nice cup of Raspberry Leaf Tea.
It’s nice your dentist’s daughter’s friend has a similar ovarian cyst but no, I don’t want to call her.
While I usually roll my eyes at those damn statements….I am actually eternally grateful for one in particular….because it got me to blog land.
Oh this is so ridiculously true! It’s like the IVF flood gates have opened and everyone who knows nothing about IVF knows someone I should talk to… What are we gonna say? “Yeah, those menopur shots are brutal…what’s your name again?”
I sent my cousin (my grandmother’s sister’s daughter) who is about 10 years younger than my grandmother) a condolence card after she lost her daughter and this was her reply:
I was speaking to my cousin NAME REDACTED from my fathers side. Her daughter who is also very obese was also trying to have a baby finally did. I asked her if you could e-mail her and she will tell you how her daughter had babies.
Needless to say I never contacted her to find out how her very obese daughter finally had babies.
@Marci: WOW. Just WOW.
My mom called me yesterday and left me a message on my answering machine telling me that there is a couple in her church that tried “that insemination thing you did” and it failed. Yup, that was her whole message.
OMG my aunt did the same thing..oh so and so had IVF and it cost them over 100k and they still don’t have kids
REALLY? do i want to hear about how it doesn’t work???
and the best part is..oh well she and her husband tried when she was like 49 years old, and he didn’t want anymore children..
uhm yeah i have NONE (ZERO) children do i want to hear about someone who tried ivf at age 49 who already has 4 children? ooh poor them
This is the reason I never tell anyone anything.